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BRAVE friends and relationships: how I will continue to meet people in self-isolation

(Wiktor’s note: This post is a record of the BRAVE productivity system in action. I wrote down the thoughts and ideas under each step as they came to me, and the editing is minimal.)

1. BIG

It would really excite me if the self-isolation and lockdown I’m going through could become a chance to meet new people, learn new things, and spend my time with others – old friends and new acquaintances – in a way which seems meaningful to me. Meeting folks and doing things with them would make me feel calmer, more at peace with what’s going on, and more connected to others.

Big success for this plan would look something like this: despite not leaving home much, I am able to use technology and my talents / interests to connect with others around me. My introvert is satisfied with the social contact these meetings involve. My stir-crazy nature is calmed because I feel like the day had someone nice and friendly in it. My curiosity is nurtured because I learn something I can then practice further. I feel more at ease. I feel less dependent on the folks from work for company. I feel like my life goes on, and isn’t all put on hold any more.

2. REAL

  • I am definitely an introverted person; this lockdown doesn’t affect me that much.
  • I am a curious, active person – this is the part of me which suffers in isolation.
  • My London routine involved regular meetings with people to do stuff – play games, talk about books, networking. This is now all cancelled (but some of this moved online).
  • My folks at work are all very nice but seeing and hearing from them each day is too much and not enough all at once.
  • M. is here, and she is going through the same things, in a very similar manner.
  • My family is still reachable, and the way we communicate hasn’t really changed.
  • I am geeky enough to work out how to meet people using the tools I own.
  • The whole world is now going through the same thing – so they must all be online at the moment 🙂
  • Dating is, thankfully, no longer a problem.
  • I do not feel the need to stay in touch as much as other people.
  • I am perfectly fine doing stuff alone – most of the time – but the interest, the spark, often comes from something I learn or expect to learn from others. I will read a book if I know we’ll talk about it at the book club; I will spend time with cards if I know we’ll play Magic: The Gathering all night.

3. ACTIONS

  • Get a Skype piano tutor.
  • Spend 30 minutes each week learning piano with them.
  • Get a Skype Mexican Spanish tutor on Italki.
  • Spend 30 minutes each week learning Spanish with them.
  • Get a Skype chess tutor.
  • Spend 1 hour each week learning chess with them.
  • Log back into Meetup.com and find out which of my book clubs are now online.
  • Sign up for one or two book clubs each month.
  • Every morning, reach out to one friend / colleague for a five-minute online chat.
  • Phone my family at least twice a week.
  • Check in with the wider work team twice a week for virtual coffee.
  • When doing meetups with close work team, be 100% present – close other windows, get rid of distractions, have a real conversation.
  • When going for a run or a ride, smile and nod/wave at others.

4. VERIFIABLE

  • Personal calendar with piano, chess, and Spanish lessons scheduled in – from next week onwards.
  • Personal calendar with dates for online book clubs scheduled in.
  • Skype logs for calls to family.
  • Chat logs for chats with friends.

5. EFFECTS

  • Feeling that my time in self-isolation isn’t wasted.
  • Feeling that I’ve had a short, useful connection with another person.
  • Feeling that others around me are interested in the same things I am.
  • Excitement from learning new things – I can play more piano! I can play chess better! I can speak Spanish more!
  • Lifelong learning buzz, feeling that my brain is massaged and not numbed by all work & no play.
  • More useful skills & stories & languages for later, when I can finally share them with friends outside.
  • Socialising introvert-style: mindfully, in short batches, with a clear purpose.

Photo by Tirza van Dijk on Unsplash